guan li sent me this mail and seeing things from e guy's point of view is pretty interesting.. it's pretty long so bear with it but i promise you it's worth e read. =)
Dear whom concerned...
First of all, I would like to apologise for the lateness in this mail. Nevertheless, I felt we men in Singapore do need a voice, a voice to show the disgrunt we all bare throughout the ages.
I personally do find most Singaporean guys, may it be Chinese, Indian or Malay do make good dates. However, I am uncertain about the other gender. Please bear in mind you ladies that there is no malicious intent in this, and I am just trying to make a statement for the general public to reflect upon. Chivary so speaks, to open doors, paying for meals, and sending the other half home. Are all these a entitlement? Or a priviledge? I have asked many female friends, and many would agree not at all, its just a priviledge, that statement is only true before they are attached. After that, it just takes a little of twisting, turning and whining and the white flags are up for the guys.
All my friends will pay for the 1st date, however, is it because its only gentlemanly to do so? We do remember that we must treat ladies with due respect and be the gentlemen we are, not forgetting the equality in sexes, so demanded by the ladies. Equality to sexes = guys and girls are treated equal = guys will place themselves in girls position, and girls will do likewise = guys open doors, so should girls = guys foot bills, so should girls, guys send girls home after a date, so should girls (I will never end with this comparison.) I always have this thinking that why only feminism exists, yet there is no maleism? Once we guys treat them equally, i.e. get them to do any guy stuff, may it be carry a bag, or foot the bill, we will always hear the 'Singaporean guys are not gentlemanly at all' and blah x3. So where was the equality?
When guys go out on dates, please pray tell, many of you ladies will say they can't dress well, they can't carry themselves. Have you all brought a mirror too when you go out with guys? Or shall I live in the fantasy that girls will always dress perfectly and behave perfectly.
For a guy to carry a bag, to me, thats losing a huge chunk of your ego. For those guys who are still blinded, is it because you love the person so you do it? Or the other half is incapable to hold a bag. I wonder, did she buy that gucci or prada bag to match her clothes or to match the bellhop who carries it? Why not we tie the laces that are undone for the ladies, or perhaps try on all the dresses and accessories she intend to buy, at least she knows it will match with herself. Some things guys should do, guys shouldn't. A thin line I agree, to hold a bag when she is sick or did her nails are some that lie on that grey line. A while to hold that bag, I am fine, provided its not that feminine a bag to throw your entire ego to the depths of the sea. Some may say that by doing that am I not compromising or conflicting the interests of the male ego? Thats where gentlemanly and chivary comes in. To know what is good and bad. We can give in to the female, but not till you forget oneself.
Girls expect guys to work hard, have a career, meet her, meet his friends, meet her friends, meet her parents, send her to work, send her off work, talk to her on the phone after sending her, sleep sufficiently and maintain a 24hr day. Hmmm kinda hard. Perhaps guys in their logic has 36 or 48hrs a day. You send her home once, Singaporean girls will say, 'YOU used to do this, YOU used to do that', now YOU have changed.' How much chivary has become.
One often comment that its always guys are the bad ones, stray easily, or have affairs. Have they thought why men behave this way? Its because the Singaporean demand that much from them that they are afraid, and they rather have someone that expects less that they provide for. Yet this girl will just provide the simplier things that guys want in life. Perhaps in life would be easier.
Have you people out there watched the show 'P.S. I love you', I would love to rant the whole story to you, however, one sentence caught my ear. 'Girls have no idea what they want' And that is true to say the least. Girls are wonderful at organising, however they suck at solving problems. Sometimes looking in the mirror will make the world a better place.
P.S. I love you
Regards
Folken
P.S. not intended to stir the wrath of the female society.
Have a light heart.
i laughed and debated with him for a long time and i admit there're certain truths in this mail but then again e choice of action lies in e guy.....no one is really pointing a trigger to ur head demanding certain actions to be done. =)
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