take me and lead me

went back to my secondary school today.

it's so many mixed feelings. nervous. excitement. smiling. disappointment. worried. relieved.

nervous cos i havent seen the teachers for so long.

excited to see e choir.

and i saw mdm leow.

i cant tell you how much i missed her.

and dunoe how to tell you how important she is to me cos i guess if my path never crossed with hers.

i wouldnt be where i am today

what i am today.

i'll probably screw up 'O' levels so bad no school wants me.

i'll probably giving away so much to others that i leave nothing for myself.

and i will hate myself in the long run cos i feel so depleted.

she taught me how to leave some love for myself.

to care for myself once in a while to make sure im well.

cos only she saw me for who i am.

she saw beyond what others saw me for.

and im really touched for everything she did for me.

said to me and guided me.

she made me a much better person. =)

and seeing her really put me in a happy mood.

heard e choir sang after so long, a little disappointed initially but after hearing the sopranos i felt better.

worried cos there are like never-ending problems for e choir.

i know first-hand sometimes how hard everything can be

but it really takes perserverance.

cos it takes time to be accepted.

i just hope everyone hangs on cos i can see the conductor himself trying hard.

oh i met e new conductor - mr lee.

pretty nice chap and he's only 22.

so he probably will be able to mingle better with them.

im relieved to see him putting in effort and not giving up on them.

and e alumni came to my hse to practise.

we were so rusty and we couldnt stop laughing.

we managed to get a couple of pieces done.

thankfully. =)

they are coming over tmr again.